An Angel Without Wings
by Tupti
Summary: Dean tries to wake Castiel from his apathy. Based on the promo for 7x21, so very slight spoilers .


Dean and Sam stared through the glass window in the door to Castiel's room, where the angel, or whatever he now was. sat on his bed, completely apathetic.

"We gotta do something, Dean", Sam murmured, but you could here that he didn't know what this 'something' should or could possibly be.

"There's nothing we can do, Sammy", Dean confirmed his brother's thoughts. Sam clenched his jaw. This wasn't right. After all the angel had done for them, there had to be something they could do for him! It pained him to see Castiel like this, and it pained him to see Dean just give up on him. An idea started to form in his head.

"You pulled me out", he reminded his brother and raised his hand to show him the scar tissue on his palm, "When it all started."

"Only at the beginning and only for a little while."

"But still... You could at least try! Maybe pain isn't strong enough in this case, but if we go deeper..."

"What do you mean, Sam?"

"Love."

Dean sneered.

"Yeah, the power of love! Great idea, John Lennon."

"No, Dean, seriously. Didn't Castiel say you and him had a... a 'profound bond' or something? Maybe you can get through to him!"

Dean didn't answer, he just stared into the distance.

"I get it, Dean, he hurt you. But he has done everything to redeem himself and I think he earned your forgiveness. The least we can do is try."

Dean threw his little brother another glance. For the first time in his life, Sam wasn't quite sure what Dean felt. Was that fear in his eyes? Or grief? Or desperation? Maybe all of it. Sam had never seen his brother like this before, but he pictured that he must have looked something like that after Sam himself had died, way, way back, when angels were still a myth and nothing more.

Finally, Dean pressed the door handle and walked into the room, slowly, cautiously, as if a monster could attack him anytime. Sam stayed where he was and watched as Dean made his way over to Castiel's bed and sat down on the matress right next to the angel. Castiel didn't show any sign of recognition or that he even realised that somebody had come in.

"Hey Cas...", Dean started with a hoarse voice, "Can you hear me?"

Silence. Apathetic staring.

"Come on, dude, you're still in there somewhere, I know it!"

Nothing.

Reluctantly, Dean reached for Castiel's hand, but as soon has he had touched the angel's skin, he drew his fingers back. He was so cold! Castiel showed no reaction to the touch, so Dean tried again. Gently, he took the slender hand in his, feeling the urge to warm Cas up, to let his own body heat, that he suddenly was strangely aware of, flow into the cold, motionless body under the sheets.

"Cas, I...", Dean started while he loked sheepishly at the calloused hand in his own, "I need you to come back, okay?"

Castiel's eyes still stared at nothing in particular.

"I have long forgiven you, you son of a bitch, you hear me? This past year I... I realised how much you..." Dean's voice faded. He couldn't say it, he just couldn't. During Castiel's long absence he had realised just how much he had gotten used to the awkward angel at his side and that what he felt for him was more than just friends and was different to family... But he couldn't voice any or it. Dean dropped his head in desperation, yet held on to Castiel's hand. He breathed in deeply. Well, nobody would hear it anway, so...

"You know why I reacted the way I did when I found out about you and Crowley?", he began, this time with determination in his voice, "Because I was angry at myself for letting anybody in, so much it hurt! I was trained not to be vulnerbale since I was four years old. Because everybody who isn't family will betray you, sooner or later. That's what dad chose to believe, I guess. And well, I believed him. But along came you and you got under my skin so fast, it made my head spin. I told myself not to trust you, especially with all the Apocalypse crap, but... well, my defences crumbled. I let you in. And then you go demon-dealing behind my back. So suddenly I heard my dad's voice in my head, over and over again. Truth is, I didn't know what to do. So I did what I do best: lash out. If I hadn't been so harsh, who knows? Maybe we wouldn't be here now. Maybe things had turned out different. But things are as they are and we are here. And you can believe one thing Cas: I'm not going anywhere now."

After his speech, Dean took another deep breath and then raised his head to check for any signs of recognition from Castiel.

And the angel looked back at him.

"I'm sorry, Dean", he whispered.


End file.
